Musings
I don't know if it's just the "after vacation blues." Maybe it's the full moon. I don't know. I'm sad.
I heard a song and it brought me back to a long time ago, when life was full of promise and longevity. Here it is 25 years later, and I find myself wondering how the time has gone by so quickly. How did I turn into this middle-aged woman who seriously needs to be on a constant diet? Where did my songs go? I get into the "why didn't I..." and "what if I had..." syndrome that goes round and round, leaving me totally depressed. Failures present themselves to my mind - vividly - and opportunities bypassed replay. I see where heartaches and griefs immobilized me, and paralysis set in. A major heartbreak occurred such a long time ago, and I have moved on, but I stopped creating music then. Why is that? I was on the phone earlier today, and the person I was talking to said that when they are depressed they go into hyper-drive. I do the opposite. Why IS that? Life hurts. It's not for wimps.
Life is like a river, flowing on by, past eddies, shoals, rapids, falls, and calm places. I am waiting to return to the calm.
Comments
Jan every woman has felt like this and at this time in your life push away from the shoulda, woulda, coulda's and "challenge" your thoughts and the "new" goals u r setting in your life! Focus on the positive and the wonderful blessings u have had. Sounds easy? No, not easy, but much better than the alternative, "the moody blues!!" I love feeling well and eating chocolate when I want to, so fooey on the diet and look in the mirror and say "hello Jan You're doing fine girl and u look that way too!!" Go work in the yard and work up a sweat and thank God for your good health!! My best friend is in a wheel chair and can no longer work in her yard. Like the song says.."Count your blessings name them one by one!!" Sing it loud honey and even off key but just sing it!!
Hi Jan! Sorry you are feeling down. I turned 53 two days ago. I have so much less energy than I used to. And I've wasted quite a few years with stupid mistakes. But there is still so much to look forward to! The music will still be there for you when you get back to it. My guitars are always happy for me to get back to them! Yours will be too! And, hey, this is only prelude to the real life anyway. All just getting us ready. When we get up there we'll get the old gang back together and really rock! Sure was great to see you again at that reunion. Hope we get to cross paths again one of these days. If not, cherish the memories and look forward to heaven! In the meantime, keep painting and sing some more!!! Send me a recording!! btw, I have some happy songs to record now after all those sad ones!! Blessings! Dan
I know how you feel at times. And I think Ellen is right that we all feel this way from time to time. The key is to not let it drag you down. God has blessed you with so much. You are blessed with a lot of amazing skills and family and friends. Try to make that your focus!
love-
paul
Remember, no matter how you feel, I always love you. I am in it with you and I know it will all work out.
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